Tuesday, October 4, 2022
Home HEALTH New mom struggles with new problems - Chicago Tribune

New mom struggles with new problems – Chicago Tribune

Dear Amy, I just had a baby two months ago. I have two other children from a previous relationship. They are 18 and 20 years old, so I am basically a “new” mom.

My boyfriend and I decided that the best thing for me would be to be a housewife and as I did for many years with my other children, I was ecstatic.

He found a new, better paying job to cover my lack of income. I was so proud of him!

Everything seemed to be going very well until a few days ago. She started acting distant and we’ve gotten into some pretty bad arguments.

I have no idea what has changed. Now she says that she needs space, and my heart is broken. He says that he is tired of being made to feel like everything he does is wrong. I definitely don’t believe that. His use of the phone annoys me, especially when he is around the baby.

He has an addiction problem and has been using kratom.

I feel like he’s hiding something from me.

How can i fix this?

I’ve been an emotional wreck and I feel like it’s taking a toll on my new baby.

– It takes a village

Dear It Takes a Town, Your signature question provides a clue as to what I’m urging you to do in the short term: Let the “town: help take care of you. Reach out to friends, family, and other new moms or “redux.”

See your doctor right away to be screened for postpartum depression.

Because I don’t think it’s in your power to “fix this,” you must take your new baby’s life, and your own, one day at a time. Or one hour at a time.

I’m speculating, but the stress of this extreme lifestyle change may have caused your partner to relapse.

Kratom is an herbal supplement that is sometimes used to counter the withdrawal effects of addiction.

According to an article published by the Mayo Clinic (mayoclinic.org), “Kratom is believed to act on opioid receptors. In low doses, kratom acts as a stimulant, making users feel more energetic. In higher doses, it reduces pain and can cause euphoria. In very high doses, it acts as a sedative, making users calm and perhaps drowsy.

“Depending on what is in the plant and the health of the user, taking kratom can be very dangerous. Claims about the benefits of kratom cannot be qualified because reliable evidence is lacking.”

This herb is also extremely toxic to babies.

If your guy “needs space” I suggest you give it to him, because he doesn’t seem to be in a stable place right now. The emotional and physical health and safety of you and your baby are paramount.

Let your “people” lift you up and hold you until you regain your strength.

Dear Amy, I am a 35-year-old man living happily in my hometown after a decade away.

I’m writing because last weekend, I realized: I really don’t like my friends.

Post-pandemic, I’ve been hanging out with some of my childhood and high school friends. Don’t get me wrong, these are people like the salt of the earth and I don’t want to judge them.

But honestly speaking, I got tired of smoking weed and playing Grand Theft Auto.

I guess I’m looking for validation as well as some ideas on how to branch out.

Your advice?

– Looking for the Distance

Dear Person, First of all, let’s stipulate that it’s not that you don’t “like” your hometown friends, but rather that your interests have expanded beyond hanging out on Randall’s couch, getting high, and stealing videos.

Expand your world, without getting rid of your friends.

Start walking, biking, volunteering for Habitat for Humanity, and going to concerts and clubs.

In short, I suggest you “get a life”.

Getting a life can be a challenge, even if you are young and have no obstacles. It can be even more difficult in your hometown because other people pigeonhole you into friendships and habits.

One of my favorite depictions of this sometimes aimless dynamic is the movie “Swingers.” Watch it and let it inspire you to plan your next move.

ask amy


Sound advice for a better life delivered to your inbox every morning. For a limited time, subscribe to the Ask Amy newsletter and get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.

Dear Amy: Hey vey, your response to “Bothered” really pissed me off.

This poor guy writes about his extreme frustration at being in a very long line to “knock” after his work shift when people cut him off.

Did you keep talking about “equanimity”?

I should go to management!

– I need your job

Dear Need, “Bothered” specifically didn’t ask how to solve this, but about “adopting a new mindset.”

©2022 Amy Dickinson.


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