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I am a 78 year old woman, how can I find a lover? | life and Style

I am a 78-year-old woman and I would love to have an active sexual life (as well as a relationship) but I don’t know how to meet a man of similar age and interest. Do you have any advice, not about meeting men, necessarily, but about encourage them to see me as a potential sexual partner?

There are online dating sites for people in your age group. These platforms can be helpful in screening people before considering meeting in person. They’re also useful because there’s no ambiguity about why you’re doing the search. Joining local clubs and attending community events can be a helpful way to meet potential members, but you may have to be brave enough to start. Being “forward” is no longer considered a negative. Invite someone you like over for coffee or some other tête-à-tête. Ignore anyone who acts surprised or makes an agitated comment; They are outdated and not worth it. Just go ahead and take bold action to fulfill your needs.

  • If you would like Pamela’s advice on sexual matters, please send us a brief description of your concerns at private.lives@theguardian.com (please do not send attachments). Each week, Pamela chooses an issue to answer, which will be posted online. She regrets not being able to get into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions.

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